Saturday, September 18, 2010

Would you like a room with a view of the end of the world?

I was browsing about the web, looking for inane little tidbits as a random blogger is likely to do, when I stumbled onto on of those, "Did you know..." sites. This particular nugget of random info told me that that on this day in history, in 1957 to be precise, the United States conducted it first underground nuclear test in Nevada. Now, admittedly, I am not sure if this was the first test or merely the first time Nevada was used as ground zero. More to the point, the truth of this specific occurrence matters very little, as it is not the point I wish to commiserate on.

What this little notion reminded me of was a documentary on Vegas that I watched a few weeks ago, which explained that these atomic experiments were a form of entertainment for the tourists of the strip. Hotels would obtain testing schedules, and set up a place with a view. I suppose it must have seemed quite novel at the time, but can you imagine it now?

"Ma'am, we have a lovely selection of martinis that would go very nicely with this afternoons mushroom cloud of death. And may I offer you some complimentary sunscreen to avoid any mutations while on your vacation?"

They were even videos of this. It blows my mind. It also had me thinking that Vegas is so successful not only from the repeated sounds of the C-chord and a lack of windows, but also from the radiation leaching in from the bedrock! Oh well.... poker, anyone?

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Much overdue return of the random question.

You've got to make contact with the alien leader. How will you tell when the conversation is finished?

It's nice the Blogger think that I should be forced to deal with such important matters. I'm training to be an accountant, and the possible fate of the world rests in MY hands?? I'm taking ethics, not communications! The best I've seen so far is when the president in Monsters vs. Alien played the Beverly Hills Cop intro, and that didn't go over so well (though he is a brave president). I think the sudden appearance of a warm apple cobbler or an explosive-launching device would be the two most likely occurences, but I would stay alert for other possibilities.

Friday, June 25, 2010

How does this work?

I am hoping that someone can explain this to me. Since I am currently looking for a career in a new field, I have noticed how difficult such a change can be. In accounting as well as several other fields, one of the primary requirements is previous experience. Education is great, but having it seems to be only the first hurdle. Appearantly, there are quite a few industries in which you can only get a job if you already had that job to start with. Take florists, for example. I have NEVER seen a florist position offered that did not require previous experience as a florist. I fail to see how you get this experience if no one will hire you until you already have it!

It's like all the places that now won't hire you unless you already have a job, which means that you probably aren't really looking for a change of pace (especially in this rocky economy). Seriously, where has the common sense gone to??

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

A fantastic question!

"In the dream where you show up to school naked, why do you never go swimming?"

My first response is that my school did not have a pool, and diving into the cafeteria spaghetti Au natural just seems a bit unsanitary. But then I really began to think about this question.

Obviously, this kind of dream has something to do with insecurity, and in a place where you can become exposed in front of people that know you. Otherwise, you might just be at the park, or Disney World, or anywhere. Not in front of your classmates. Now, I can't speak for anyone else, but when I had this dream, it was always at lunch. So I used to wonder why I (or no one else, for that matter) would notice I was not properly attired for the first four hours I was there. That is the aspect that would always confuse me. Not a single person would realize that I was missing vital protection from a draft until I went to get my lunch money out of my pockets. Does this mean that if you believe you are wearing clothes, you can sit next to your friends in the buff and they would never know? That's the real question, and one I would love for someone other than me to answer!

Monday, June 7, 2010

Deja Vu

It is time, once again, to delve into the world of randomosity. The question that I have been given is:

"You can punch a hole in an apple using a straw. How do you think that makes your milkshake feel?"

Well, my first thought is relieved. I mean, when was the last time it ever got a break from the straw, unless you count the Frosty's from Wendy's, since they like to serve them with spoons. Then I figured maybe it would be impressed with my manly strength. So I tried it. then I tried it many more times. As it turns out, either I buy really cheap straws, or this assumption requires that you are someone who is given their name by the National Weather Service during hurricane season. Either way, the final score was: Apple - 14, me - 0.

I think my milkshake is laughing at me...

On a side note for those of you particularly confused by the subject of this tirade, this question reminded me of a home networking commercial, where the announcer explains the benefits of having various items being able to talk to each other. The girls response? "My shower has seen me naked. I wonder what it's telling the toaster..."

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

The usual oddness!

There are very few literary hooks that manage to entertain me on a regular basis, but oxymorons would definitely be one of them. The famous Peanuts comic strip is home to one of my favorites, and I always look forward to seeing Charlie Brown exclaim, "Good Grief!" Another favorite of mine depends on a more satirical sense of humor; Microsoft Works! Other greats include random order, jumbo shrimp, and the saying 'New and Improved!' (After all, if it was there to be improved, it wasn't really new, was it?)

The random question that I was greeted with today was, "What was the most amount of sand you have gotten in your swimming trunks?" The response of how I generally swim in the water and not the sand seemed to be inadequate for a post of its own, and so I felt a little clever wordplay was in order.

By all means, feel free to leave more clever oxymorons in the comments, whether they be old favorites of yours or New and Improved!

Monday, May 24, 2010

And the random question this time is...

Paper or briefs?

Excuse me? Paper or briefs? First off, I would love to meet the mind that thought this one up, as they are crazier than I am! No, despite what others might think, I rather enjoy testing my mind against the odd disparity of others. That being said, we can begin seeking the answer!

The first task is to place ourselves in a situation where this becomes a viable question. I suggest we do so in the comfort of our imagination, as we might arouse the curiosity of several people in the neighborhood who have no business knowing what our answer would be. I, for one, have no desire to inform the people whether any environmental consciousness on my part might have lost me my undergarments!

We have two scenarios that comes to mind, let us look at each one individually.

In the first moment of discomfort, you might be making use of the restroom while browsing the sports section. Why? Because it seems that this is the only part of the paper that people feel comfortable exploring while they take care of business. I'm not sure why... maybe people have a habit of pacing while reading the classifieds, which could prove disastrous in such times. Regardless of which, at some point some one walks in on you. You then have only a split second to conceal your bare rump, with only your undies or the World Series score for protection. In this situation, I might suggest the paper. After all, it is already in your hands and if you are not yet finished, redressing could be quite messy.

Now it is later in the office, and you have succumbed to the age old dare of photo-copying your backside on the company printer. While the machine is highlighting your more personal features, your boss enters the room with his/her head turned away for but a moment. You could quickly cover yourself, but your handiwork has printed on top of the report your manager is coming for. Or you have just enough time to grab the physical evidence and though you will be seen, you wonder if you would be able to convince the owner that it never happened and that your boss is just trying to get rid of you.  This one is certainly much tougher, but I think I would grab for the undies in this case. Who knows, maybe I could claim that it wasn't my butt...

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Commitments

What is the worth of a promise? What is the value of dependable honesty?

These are the questions that are going through me mind today. Now, I am not one of those people that thinks that everybody lies, though I am sure most people do. Not big lies, or important ones. For many, the extent of a falsehood is to answer the age old query, "How are you," with a simple fine even if the day is not going so well. I also wouldn't make a fuss about white lies told to disguise the arrangement of a suprise party. From there, you have those that don't want to tell a person that they don't want to go out with them, or occasionally play hookie from school or work to spend time with loved ones. I don't neccesarily agree with those, but I can understand the appeal.

Then there are vows, oaths, and other promises of great importance. Not all of them come attached to those words specifically, but they are, or should be, just as binding. Things such as commiting to being there for a child, swearing yourself to royalty, and matrimony. These are the kinds of things that you don't simply abandon. These are major promises that go beyond any normal oath. And I am not saying that they haveto be permanent. If two people fall out of love, there is no reason they should have to stay married, but I do believe that because of there promise, they should give it all they have. A little discomfort or disagreement is no reason to abandon those you have made such a promise to, unless all are in agreement that it is for the best. And to break such a promise without the consent of the person to whom the vow was made is one of the most cruel things a person can do. Doing so without their knowledge ranks right up there, too.

With a king or queen, the term for such a lowly act was called treason, and almost certainly carried the punishment of death. In marriage, it is one of the greatest betrayals of trust, and almost certainly a precursor to divorce. The worst offense is the abandonment of one's child. No other betrayal  can more completely damage the well-being of a person for as long.

This minor and uncheerful monologue comes because I have recently discovered that someone I know and care about has committed such an act, and against someone else that means a great deal to me. I lament for the break in good character of one good friend, and the loss of faith and love of another. And I hope that they, and anyone else that might read these words, takes the time such promises deserve to see if the intent they had when making them still exists before acting. Furthermore, if they truly find that there is no longer a valid reason to continue, to give fair notice to the other party, and refrain from further action until the vow is released or there is absolutly no chance of freedom.

Monday, May 17, 2010

What spells can you cast with magic markers?

This is the random question that has been staring me down for the last few days as I contend with learning teams in school as well as preparing the next segment of my story telling adventure full of magic, martial arts, and zombies. Yes. That's right, you don't need to check your glasses.

So while I polish up my essay writing skills and create reasons for three intrepid adventurers to run towards the masses of undead that populate horror fiction, I leave it to my daring and loving readers to answer the Random question of the day. And no pulling used ideas from your childrens book! Harold, after all, had a purple crayon...

Friday, May 14, 2010

What will today bring?

Random Question:


You're wearing a sweater that stretches down to your feet. What color belt do you put on?



First, one must understand what kind of sweater I am wearing. Excluding the slightly odd proportions of a sweater that stops near the ankles, there are turtlenecks, ones with argyle prints that are popular among golfers, and complete collection that has been worn by Judge Reinhold in his various movies. Once the specific sweater is determined, then we can take into account my current latitude and altitude, and intended activities. Then we can make the final determination.

I only own a black belt, and it’s not the kind Chuck Norris has.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

I do enjoy random questions!

Random Question:
When you open your eyes underwater, do you ever worry that you'll drown?

This, of course, depends entirely on what room of the house I am in and how long I have been asleep. Naturally, awaking in such a fashion after a short nap in the upstairs closet is much more perilous then if I had just spent the night counting sheep on the living room sofa. Such dire straits beg the question, “How did the water get in so quickly?” Such flooding that could quickly bury the second floor would reduce the already infinitesimal chance of evolving gills before suffocating, let along the likelihood of the building being in any shape to build a raft from.

Suprise!

Bet no one saw this coming! Then again, as I haven't told anyone of this blogs existence, there is every chance that no one will see this at all. As I am not overly concerned (at this time) with being the Web's next viral superstar, it matters little to me.

My point for being here is merely a semi-public collection of random thoughts and ideas. A way to inspire imagination and creativity, at least in myself if not anyone else. A place to, well, plan for spontaneity! I hope to shed some unique insight on the world, both mundane and fictional, and to encourage any who pass this way to open their mind or try something new. Like hockey, wine tasting, or reading this blog!